Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Giving Up on Someone

Writer/speaker Wayne Dyer has said, “Friends are God's way of apologizing for your family.”  I have to admit, I’ve been blessed with some pretty awesome friends.  I’m not always a great friend myself, but there are those who have chosen to overlook my shortcomings and remain steadfast.  For that, I am eternally grateful for your understanding. 

As for family ... I’ve been blessed in that realm for the most part too.  However, there are those who have certainly come up short, at least to my way of thinking.  Unfortunately, it has finally reached the point where I’m having to walk away from the most hurtful of those people. 

I can overlook a lot.  Had this particular situation involved only myself, I would have let it go.  However, it affected my beautiful, special needs son who deserves nothing but love and support.  I’m here to tell you, you don’t set up my kid for hurt and disappointment and not expect to get a strong reaction from Mama and Daddy.   

It’s not an isolated incident.  It’s been going on for two years, more if you count the snide remarks, looks of embarrassment, and almost complete disinterest in his life.  Yes, he’s different from the other kids, the ones you rain gifts and time on.  Yes, he can be difficult to reach and understand.  But you don’t ignore him.  You don’t continuously forget him.  Not if you want to keep him and his parents in your life. 

Others have made monumental efforts to spend time and energy on our amazing little guy.  They have gone to great lengths to make him smile, to learn about his disability, to ask what they can do to help.  But not the people I thought I could count on.  All I ever really asked was for them to take maybe five minutes to call or send a card on the kid’s birthday.  For the second year in a row, his birthday came and went ... and these people were nowhere to be found. 

But that’s okay.  My sweetheart has plenty of others who recognize his gifts and love him even when he’s not behaving like a sweetheart.   To those two people who cannot be bothered, you’re excused from our lives. 

It’s time to walk away.   I didn't decide to do this lightly.  My husband and I discussed it at length, and gave these people plenty of chances to do better.  They chose not to, so I feel I've been left with no other option.  I have to protect my precious boy.  I know I’ll be sad a bit later at how this turned out, though right now I’m too angry to feel that way.  But as I said, I am not setting up my child to be hurt by individuals who cannot find time or space in their hearts for a child who already has so many challenges ahead of him.  He deserves better.  Much, much better. 

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