She thought it one of the most warm and welcoming churches
she’d ever set foot in, but Lena still experienced a heaviness in her
stomach. She was demonkind, supposedly
not welcome here. Alex had lectured her
about the strength of faith, that the trappings of religion were nothing
without intent present in those who used them.
She’d preached her own gospel time and again until the words were nearly
burned in Lena’s brain.
“This crucifix can’t
hurt you. This holy water can’t hurt
you. They are only objects, nothing to
be feared. I have faith my daughter is good. I cannot harm you with these baubles. And Lena, if you do not believe in their
harm, they really are only baubles.”
There had to be truth in that. Through the years, Lena felt nothing more
than slight discomfort touching such things.
Yet she’d seen Alex destroy demi-demons with those same objects. Alex’s faith that she performed holy work
made the icons destructive weapons that no demon could stand again. In her hands, the symbols of the Church won
every battle that Alex waded into.
Conviction was an unstoppable force, and Alex Williams Lasham wielded it
like the Archangel Michael’s fiery sword.
Lena sat down in the backmost pew. Her temples ached fiercely. She bowed her head and closed her eyes to
pray as she’d done countless times before, often without her parents’
knowledge.
She believed in God.
One couldn’t face the reality of demons and not be a believer. Being one of the profane herself, Lena had
more faith than many she knew who attended services regularly. She hoped the Almighty could forgive her
condition since she’d had no control over it.
Though she’d rejected the bloodbath of being a full-fledged member of
the Segreto, Lena believed she’d conducted herself with basic decency. Surely she couldn’t be damned because of an
accident of ancestry.
Dear God, I am not
evil simply because my existence can be traced back to Lilith and the
Fallen. You have to know this. I am as good as any human. In fact, I am kinder than many who have no
demon blood in their veins. I don’t want
to hurt anyone except those who would destroy us all. I don’t like feeding on misery. Tell me I’m more than the sum of my
parts. Tell me I’m not doomed to hell
for all eternity simply because I’m descended from those who do delight in the
pain of others. I’m begging you for a
sign. Something I can show my mother so
she’ll see she has nothing to fear from me.
Lena had lost count of how many times she’d sent out that
prayer. This time, as with all the
others, she received no answer. Perhaps
there would never be one, and Alex would go to her grave in agony because she’d
brought one of demonkind into the world through her own womb. Lena didn’t like thinking such things, but
she’d learned to live with the notion.
Still, she couldn’t help but plead her case yet again.
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