Thursday, June 21, 2012

Throwing Things at my Television - Orbs

Yep, I’m an utter geek, especially over the paranormal.  Ghosthunters, Paranormal State, Ghost Collector, Celebrity Ghost Stories … I’m all over those shows when I have the time (not often).   And I’m sure I have more than my fair share of gullibility when it comes to such things, though I like to think I watch with something approaching skepticism.

Certain issues with these shows seriously irritate me.  I have been known to yell at the television when the so-called investigators whine how scared they are.  If you’re so darned scared, why are you hunting ghosts?  Go home to your nightlights.  But the thing that makes me really cranky with these shows are those stupid ‘orb’ pictures.  You know, the little balls of light that occur in photos and videos that send too many into paroxysm of delight.  “Spirit energy!” they gloat, when any half-baked brain would immediately see motes of dust and insects flying about.

  Fluffy apparently being menaced by the neighbor’s deceased dog.

So here I am, looking for a nice little throw pillow to toss at the TV in my eyerolling hell.  Hey, it is called a throw pillow … might as well put it to proper use.

Come on, people.  I have yet to see an orb that I wouldn’t immediately discount as a flying critter or dust.  Forget the exorcist, get the Windex.  If so-called orbs were an indication of spirit energy, then my house is infested with ghosts.  Come on in and take a picture.  Then let me hand you a duster, because I don’t have time to deal with shooing them out myself.  Better yet, send me a cleaning service for Christmas.  That’ll clear those restless spirits right the heck out, I guarantee.

 Juliette calling for her Romeo?  Or a home begging for Endust?

Yet here these ‘experts’ go, yammering that this speck reflecting a bit of light is Uncle George, letting us all know he’s fine and dandy and hanging out in the basement with the Christmas ornaments and old cans of paint.  Puh-leeze.

Although occasionally Uncle George invites a few friends over to watch the game in the den

The only show I’ve seen that discounts this nonsense on a regular basis is Ghosthunters, so to them I give kudos for not being nimrods.  And an extra hand for them getting rid of those squealing types who peed their pants every time they saw an unexpected shadow.

 Don’t even think of running, dude

So if you’re starring on one of these paranormal shows, do us all a favor.  Stop claiming orbs are proof of a haunting.  We’re not buying it.  Plus, I’m running low on pillows that still possess stuffing.

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